kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
