singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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