Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
