i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
