I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
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