Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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