chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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