i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
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