Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
