My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
