do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
