HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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