dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize