My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
she told me i tasted like america
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
