Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
worst night to have a conscience
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
