Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
