Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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