this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
