I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
