So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
