He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
