I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Randomize
