matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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