actually, I'm a sock model
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
