I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
