I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
