It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
