I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
