I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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