You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
