butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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