yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
