True but thats because hes a fetus.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
