grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
