Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
