they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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