so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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