The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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