I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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