My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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