shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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