I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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