I feel great
I just peed on a car
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize