forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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