We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
