i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
