haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize