I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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