I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
