if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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