No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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