So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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