I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
