I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
