the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
