Three words: puerto rican gang bang
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
