Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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