I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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