Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
