how hairy? two words: wookie tits
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
