I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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